I answered the Stargirl trivia and this is how I scored:
“If someone got an A, others celebrated, too.”
-Leo (from Stargirl)
-Leo (from Stargirl)
Congratulations! You answered all the questions correctly. You are a true Stargirl!
It’s Not Over March 29, 2008
Here is
a test to find
whether your mission on earth
is finished: If you’re alive,
it isn’t.
I’ve had more than my fair share of near-death encounters:
Appendicitis. I just turned eighteen years old. I was fooling around and learning about life by making mistakes. I had eating disorders and I cut myself. Then one day, I felt this pain in my lower abdomen. I was scared to tell my parents because it might be some incurable disease I got from fooling around. But after two weeks, the pain still hasn’t subsided. In fact, it was hurting more and more. I even stayed home from school during the second week because I couldn’t walk anymore. My dad finally decided that we should go see the doctor. And when we did, she told us that it was my appendix–swollen and was slowly leaking pus. That same day, I was admitted to the hospital and later at around 10 pm, I was operated on. If we let another day pass without seeing a doctor, I could have most possibly died of the toxins from the ruptured appendix.
Electrocution. I was fixing my room one fateful day and I got bored with the silence and the occasional chatter of my then-boyfriend. Since I was finished wiping all the surfaces clean of dust and grime, I decided that it was time to put the stereo back in place. After putting the stereo on a table, I proceeded to plug the wires in their proper places. But I didn’t notice there was an exposed part of the wire. I touched it while it was plugged into an outlet and waaaaaaaaa! I don’t know how many volts jolted my heart and my nerves but it was a scary feeling. My hands got burned and my heart was hurting a bit. I was lucky that I was able to let go in time because I felt a blackout coming over me.
Motorbike Crash. I was on my way to my then-boyfriend’s house and I crossed the street just as the light turned green, signaling one lane to start moving. I ran across just in time but then this stupid couple decided to swerve into the wrong lane. Bam! They crashed into me and I was thrown pretty hard. I was shaken and so terribly scared that I was the one who apologized to them. Lucky me, there were no oncoming cars.
Three occasions wherein I could have died but didn’t. Three occasions that made me stop and think about why I was still alive. Three occasions that made me ask the question ‘Why am I still here?’
It’s weird how I’ve always wanted to die–I’ve begged the Great Divine to take me away from this mortal world–but when I get so close to death I feel shaken. It’s as if the universe is telling that it is not yet my time to die. And yes, finally, after three years of near-deaths, I’m heeding it’s call. I don’t want to die anymore. I want to continue living until I fulfill my purpose here on earth. I guess the motorbike accident was the brick thrown at me to make me notice that ‘Hey! You can’t die yet!’
So here I am, alive and getting through each day no matter how shitty things get. I’ve yet to fulfill my mission, no matter how small it may be. And even if this post is very incoherent and reminiscent of teenage babbling, I don’t care. I just needed to get this off my chest.
—————-
Now playing: The Cure – A Letter To Elise
via FoxyTunes
Desiderata by Max Ehrmann March 28, 2008
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
I’m Still Crazy Mary March 26, 2008
My favorite lines from the song:
And no one knows the thoughts, the dreams,
and the ideas she’s got and contains inside.
She’s broken apart
and her heart is still looking for somewhere to feel alright.
Manic Me March 17, 2008
I’ve been acting like an insecure, depressed and manic girl for the past two/three days. I’ve been feeling awfully bad about everything, even during my birthday (last March 16).Steve’s been pretty nice about the whole thing. But I fear that he won’t hold out. I’m scared he might leave me.
I’m always scared about guys leaving me when they finally find out that I’m not totally sane. I really would like things to work out between me and Steve. I wanna talk to him about how I’ve been feeling but I don’t know if he wants to listens. Or if he will.
—————-
Now playing: Paramore – When It Rains
via FoxyTunes
I’d Rather Stay March 14, 2008
(March 13, 2008)
Me: Kahumot nimo uy. (Even though he was really sweaty.)
BF: Like a man?
Me: Yeah, like a man.
BF: Do I smell like cookies or sweat?
Me: Cookies and sweat.
———-
BF: Do you wanna go home? Or would you like to stay and smell me some more?
Me: …. Stay and smell you some more.
How I love him…<3
